The Wagglan Giant

What’s this? An actual blog post? after almost a full month of inactivity? Yes. Shut up.

Now, keeping with our “tag every post with 3DS” theme, I’d like to talk today about Nintendo. Not the 3DS, of course, don’t be absurd. I’m going to talk about the rumoured new console to be announced at E3.

Now, aside from the fact that the rumours are definitely true because they mentioned they were working on it at LAST E3 meaning the rumours are probably accurate about it being announced, there are some flaws that keep popping up in them.

The console will not feature a controller with an HD screen in it. That is expensive, silly and pointless. Nintendo aren’t Microsoft so those things aren’t selling points to them. You’d have to be a big enough chump to trade a ps3 for a 360 to believe that kind of rumour.

Another rumour is that it will “be made to bring back the hardcore gamer”, this I approve of, of course, if only to spite the casuals. “Why can’t I play cooking mama and the secret rings?” they’ll ask. “Because Mario Zelda Kirby Donkey Kong, bitch”

“But all those games were on the wii”, you’ll reply. “But you’re a cunt” I’ll respond.

Now I could rant on and on about how gaming in the past was much better than it is today, like gaming was Britain or something. And I will!

Did you grow up in the 80s or 90s? Then surely you’ll know that 2D platformers are far better than generic WWII sims right? Where every game has you control a camera with a gun taped on shooting the bad guys?

-This does not apply if you grew up in the 80s or 90s but started playing games in the ps2 era because Grand Theft Auto. You’re part of the problem, go away.

One final point I’d like to discuss is the name. Now I know the rumours are baseless as it is, and even if PROJECT CAFE or WII HD are really leaked from nintendo and not made up by neckbeards, they’ll still only be codenames for the system. Project DOLPHIN was real, after all.

Call it the Super Wii, Nintendo, you know you want to.

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About antiquince

Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.

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