3DS UK MIDNIGHT LAUNCH

Nintendo’s 3DS launched on Friday March 25 at midnight. The Nintendo loyal were out in force, eager to snap up a headache machine of their very own.


This man doesn’t look like a Club Nintendo member. The look in his eyes says he knows he can’t justify a £200 machine that has a two hour battery life and no games. Or he looks edgy because he’s going to follow one of the early adopters who don’t look as if they can “handle themselves”.

Sorry Gregg, but our money’s on you. Your glare isn’t threatening at all, and your perfectly spherical head and chubby chin only frame a boyishly innocent face. You might be alright if that’s your mum behind you, though. Nobody messes with you when your mum’s about. We can’t get our mum to go to midnight hardware launches with us, and are therefore more prone to being relieved of our expensive new hardware at knife-point. In 3D!

Buying Nintendogs is a sign of weakness and will get you robbed. The killer app for 3DS is Nintendogs, which has cats in it this time round. Golden Retriever and French Bulldog confirmed, cat details pending.

With all this talk of FIGHTING off muggers on the STREET, you’d think a Street Fighter joke would be good. IT WOULD BE SHIT, YOU KNOW NOTHING.

We would pay £400 for these two. Even just to watch. Was in bed by Midnight on Friday, having wanked to sleep to a similar video to the picture above, found on WankDB. Pictures of the wank are available by special request only.

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About Maximum Quince

I needed that loan, you lunatic!

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